Mood: Upset ...
Music: "La Donna E Mobile" - by Placido Domingo

Finished reading: "Invisible Lives" by Anjali Banerjee
Currently reading: "The Devil You Know" by Louise Bagshawe

I hate Result Release Day. Always have. Ever since I entered the academia world, the word "results" always left a sickening feeling in my stomach.

See, I wasn't a very good student. Actually ... that's an understatement.
I was a lousy student.
Didn't care much for school, me. Hated it. Hated the school. Hated the subjects. Hated the teachers. Hated the students.
Just pretty much hated everything about it.

So grades didn't matter to me. Not back then. I was lucky enough to even so much as pass. And to get an A, well ...
Boy, what a miracle that would've been.

But pride, eventually, wins out in the end.
My pride wouldn't allow me to graduate with such a pitiful report card.
Even worse, it wouldn't allow me to screw up the final exams.
Gahhh! Dreaded SPM!

So I worked. Scraped through with decent grades. Enough to get me into Form Six, although I took the alternative.
A-Levels, people! Taylor's!

Oh gawd! Taylor's! Till this day I find no reason to like that hellhole, other than the fact that I met Nadiah and Ai Koon.
That's about the only reason I'm grateful I didn't go to Seafield instead.

And all along ... all those years ...
I STILL HATED RESULT RELEASE DAY!!!
Oh gawd ... I really hated results.
Even if I did well - which I rarely ever, by the way - I didn't like results.
Hated them with a passion.

Know why?
'Cos the only way to get results is if you had to do exams and assignments.
And Lazybones me ... I hated doing either.
Really, really hated them.

Didn't change my attitude either, once I entered Monash.
I mean, yeah sure ... I was beginning to like studying.
A little. Just a little.
I'm happy at Monash. And when you're happy somewhere, you tend not to be so antagonistic to everything.

Even studies.

And shockingly ... having lost that antagonism ...
I even started to do well!
Like Distinction/High Distinction well!
Incroyable!

But I still dreaded RR Day.
Why?
'Cos I began to worry ... with such good grades, would I be able to maintain them? Would I be able to keep it up?
What if I check the results and I've failed ...
Like BADLY?!!!

So see ... the hatred for RR Day will never fade.
Will never change.
Even worse, when once I didn't care ... now I worry.
Which makes it all the more difficult to actually like getting results.

Gawd ...
Why is life soooooo complicated?

Laterz!

~ Kat ~